2008 Recap

2008, what a year it was. It was an absolute roller coaster ride for me but after everything it's definitely a year where I gained the most knowledge, mostly about myself.

I can remember all the way back when 2008 rolled in. I was laying in bed watching a movie with Drew, she was asleep so I woke her up for a second, gave her a kiss, wished her happy new year and she was back to sleep (this New Year's will be explained later). So it started off pretty uneventful but I was a very happy person.About 20 days into January I got called down early to Spring Training so the Marlins could make sure that my shoulder was fully healed. The call came earlier than expected and the flight down to Florida seemed to come even sooner. It was tough because I knew that I wouldn't have a chance to see a lot of the people that I loved so much for at least a couple months. But then again I was getting to go down to Florida in the middle of the winter to train with some big leaguers and get ready for a season where I got to play a game that I love.

Once I got down to Florida it was finally nice to settle into a place where I knew I would be for at least a couple months. I had the opportunity to get some individual attention with some of the various instructors in the organization. I worked out and hit with a few major leaguers and really took everything in as a learning experience. After about a month and a half of “winter workouts” it was finally time for minor league spring training to begin.

I think that spring training started on the 5th of March. I was once again rooming with Jordan and we picked up our friendship right where it had left off. The first couple weeks went by pretty fast and I felt like my preparation was showing itself. We were having a blast; my mom, sister, Madi, Drew, and Jordan’s fiancé Sam were all down visiting. A couple days into the visit I was hit with a wake up call. Jordan, my best friend in the organization, was released after having a great couple outings. I was shocked at how he could have been released, it made me believe that they already had it in their minds that they were going to release him no matter what he did. But I had to move on and I had already decided that while everyone was down there I was going to make my commitment for a certain someone official.

When my mom made the trip down she brought an engagement ring that I had prepared for Drew. I was ready to make the leap and take our relationship to the next level. I had decided that I didn’t want to spend my life with anyone else and I wanted to make sure she knew that. I had pondered ideas about how I was going to ask her for a couple months, but there wasn’t ever one that I really thought would work out the way that I had wanted it to. So what I did was had my mom give me the ring and my idea was to just keep it in my pocket and whenever I felt that the time was right I was not only going to surprise her but I was also going to surprise myself.
Drew and I were over at my family’s hotel room and we decided that we wanted to show my mom our favorite, most laid back bar in Jupiter. It just so happened to be right across the street along “Love St.” We walked to the end of the pier at Square Grooper and as my mom was taking a picture of us I got down on a knee and asked the woman of my dreams to marry me. She said yes and we shared the biggest hug ever and as we walked back to the hotel I could’ve sworn that we were the two happiest people on the face of the Earth. I was ready for where our relationship was going and excited for what the future had in store for us.

Spring training came to an end a couple weeks later and it was off to Greensboro, North Carolina where I was assigned to play for the low a Greensboro Grasshoppers. I knew that would be a very different experience for me. I went into the season not knowing anyone on the team real well and I also went into the season being one of the older guys on the team. I was going to have to do some growing up, this was the year that I needed to stay healthy and take care of my business on the field to show the Marlins that they had made the right choice with drafting me. Greensboro was an unbelievable city with a great fan base and a ridiculous stadium. I stayed to myself for the most part during the first month, staying quiet and trying to let my play on the field do my talking. I tried to set an example for the younger guys, I felt as if after being around for a couple years and being around some older guys myself, I had an understanding of what it took to be successful.

I quickly gravitated towards some of the older guys on the team and in particular, Bryan Petersen. We seemed to have a lot of the same interests and he held high regard for a lot of the same things that I valued most in my life. Together we began to discover the mental side of the game. Since my junior year at Mizzou I had always thought that it was important but I never had realized how much work it takes to be a mentally tough person. Re-discovering the mental side of the game combined with the work that I put in the off season really helped me to succeed during the summer.

The first half of the season seemed to be over in the blink of an eye. I had a so-so first half, hitting around .265, but I felt as if I was learning a lot of new things and most importantly I wasn’t ruffling any feathers. The second half started with a conversation that I never saw coming.

A couple days after the start of the second half we were playing a series in Lexington, Kentucky when I got a call from Drew. She told me that things just weren’t the same to her anymore and that she wanted to move the wedding date back. I was absolutely crushed; I didn’t know what to do or where to go. From the time that we had been engaged until this conversation we had only seen each other for a total of four days. The next few days were especially hard for me. Everyone on the team could tell that there was something wrong with me and there were only a handful of guys that I felt comfortable enough to share my thoughts with. Everyone, including our roaming hitter instructor John Malee, seemed to tell me that I just had to let it run its course and that everything would work itself out in the long run. At this point it was hard for me to not take my personal life with me onto the field and it really showed in my play. I felt like I was just going through the motions and I started to question what I was doing playing baseball when the only person that I wanted to be around at that point was Drew.

The turning point for me was when my family came out to see me. I was really able to forget about everything else that was going on and just play the game and be a good host to them. Things were starting to turn around and my play on the field was showing it. But once they left I was right back to where I was before they got there. Up to that point we had just decided to move the wedding back, but now she had decided that she wasn’t ready to get married at all. This was the lowest point of the year for me. I spent hours after our games talking to our manager, Edwin Rodriguez, about my situation. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to talk to. I could tell him anything, and he made me feel like what I was telling him was just as important to him as it was to me. He gave me some great advice but he told me one thing that will stick with me for as long as I play baseball. He told me to use baseball as a way to get away from everything, a place where I could go back to being a kid where nothing else mattered but what I was doing at that point. He told me that when I got to the field and I began to undress out of my street clothes I should try and treat every article of clothing like a personal problem that I had. So when I was completely out of my street clothes and into my uniform there was nothing except for baseball that was in my mind. I’ll never forget the conversations that we had outside of the locker room in Hagerstown, Maryland. I tried to forget about everything and for the next four games I think I went a combined 12-16. It was the best that I had ever felt on the field despite how everything away from the field was an absolute mess.

During the summer in Greensboro I lived with a group of Latino guys. There were two guys that I roomed with that were there for most of the summer and I became the closest with, they were Osvaldo Martinez from Puerto Rico and Emilio Ontiveros from Venezuela. It was a great experience living with these guys. I really picked up on how much they loved playing baseball and how they didn’t take anything for granted. Not a lot of people in their situations get the opportunities that they got and they knew it and took advantage of everything that they were given. I also picked up on a lot of Spanish which is something that I had always deemed necessary to play pro ball. They were a great group of guys to live with and they welcomed me with open arms. There were times during the year that I felt like I was Latin. I tried to be as accepting of their cultures as I could and they without a doubt did the same with me.

The season was coming to a close and we had about 3 weeks left when I felt that I really turned it on. We began getting all these talks from coaches and people in the organization about how hard the last part of the year is because you get so drained mentally and physically and you begin to see the end of the year and that’s all you care about, getting to the end. After hearing all these different built in excuses I decided that this was my time to perform. I figured that if everyone else was “getting tired” then it was time for me to lean back on the work that I did in the off season for this exact time. I took a different approach to the end of the year. Some people look at it as the season is coming to a close and they try to rush to that point but I kind of thought of it as a time where I’m not going to be able to play in another game for at least 6 months so I better make the most out of this last month. I didn’t want to be sitting at home beating myself up because I shut it down too early. I ended up having a really good August and I left Greensboro on a good note going into the off season. I ended up getting along great with all my teammates and I felt like I really earned their respect. I had a great time in Greensboro, but hopefully I won’t be going back there anytime soon!

September came and I was back in Liberty living at home with my family. I gradually worked my way back into working out but I was really bored most of the time and I wasn’t making any money. This obviously was an easy decision for me, I got a job. I began waiting tables at Rancho Grande Cantina, my favorite Mexican restaurant in the entire world. My personal life was once again struggling and working at Rancho was the perfect remedy. When I worked all I thought about was having fun, working hard, and making everyone else’s experience a little more enjoyable. Everyone at Rancho is such a joy to work with which made it even better whenever I went into work. For me it didn’t matter if I had a night where I only made $20, it was more money than I had going into the night, I was productive with my time, and I almost always would have a great time.

A couple more months went by and Drew and I decided that we were completely done. It was a very tough thing for me to handle. Everything reminded me of her and I couldn’t think of life without her. I was at a pretty tough point in my life. I started having some headaches because of anxiety but everyone tried their best to make me feel better. I found out a lot about who genuinely cared for me and to my surprise it was a lot more people than I ever could have imagined. All I could do was try and keep my mind off of what could have been and begin to focus on my career and the long journey that I had ahead of me.

The end of the year was quickly approaching and I tried not wasting any of the remaining time. I began to branch out a little more and began to meet a lot of new people and re kindled some old friendships. For New Year’s Eve I found myself in New York with Gary. It was an unbelievable and by far the most memorable New Year’s that I’ve experienced. The eventful start of a year has to mean something right? That’s what I’m banking on anyways. I almost feel as if going into 2009 I am a new man with new found goals and a new outlook on life. I didn’t really come up with a New Year’s resolution but I’ve just decided that I’m going to take full advantage of all of the opportunities that I encounter. Now that I look back at that sentence I guess that kind of is a New Year’s resolution, but to me a resolution is too cliché, so I’ll call it a dedication.

2008 was a great learning year and a great developmental year for me in many ways. I had some of the best moments of my life and also some of the worst. I re-dedicated myself to the game I love and discovered what it truly feels like to play like a kid again. I grew as a man and found out quite a bit about relationships. But everything that happened to me was a blessing and I took it all as a learning experience. I’m a big believer in the saying “everything happens for a reason” and this past year I really had to lean back on my faith in that.

This quote is one that my dad sent me. I usually like to come up with my own but this one was so good that I felt that I had to share it with everyone that reads this:
“Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable.”